Wilson Counseling: The Armchair Chronicles

Most of the people I work with in my practice have come in at some point with high levels of stress. They are experiencing the kind of stress that makes it hard to sleep at night, that causes them to have trouble focusing, or to feel agitated and short tempered with people they love. It is the kind of stress that makes them question what is wrong with their lives, but then feel too exhausted to do anything about it. Many of them are drained by demanding jobs that they spend a lot of their waking hours thinking about. Often, they even take work home. These are smart, hardworking, successful people. But, they have had the joy sucked out of their lives by the time they come to see me.  I talk with them about creating more balance in their lives. This means working less, and getting back to things in their personal lives that they value and that energize them. In general I recommend that they leave work by a designated time every night, and do not take work home. It soun...

I was reading a beautifully crafted essay written by one of my friends and felt simultaneously thrilled by the brilliant analysis and beautiful prose, but I also felt a little pang of jealously at the ease with which he could produce such incredible work. Even if I  painstakingly edited 100 drafts of my writing, I would never come close to his talent. Later that day, a different friend posted some photos on social media of an event he was attending. He looked like he was having the time of his life. So I started thinking about my own day, which felt a little, well, lackluster. I sighed, turned off my computer and reminded myself of what I already knew--comparing is always a trap, and it will not help me lead the life I want. I see people falling into this comparison trap all the time in my practice. Social media bombards us with carefully selected detail of our friends' lives. What we often don't think about is the fact that those status updates and pictures don...

http://blog.habitrpg.com/tagged/habitrpg-fanart Procrastination is a problem for all of us. Most of the time we accomplish what we need to accomplish to keep things moving in our lives. But there are always those pesky, irritating, boring to-do's, and even big lifestyle changes that we just can't seem to get around to. Exercise is one of those things. We vow that we will start exercising...tomorrow. But when tomorrow comes, we're tired at the end of the day, so we sit in front of the television and binge watch episodes of Dexter or Orange is the New Black . One of my clients was having this exact problem. She couldn't focus at work. She was highly anxious that her lack of productivity would lead to her being fired. And yet, as stressed out as she got, she could not seem to change her behavior and get motivated. She knew that exercising in the past had helped her sleep better, feel more rested, and concentrate better. So we set exercise goals and discusse...

We all have times when it is hard to relax. You may have a lot on you mind, feel overtired, or just can't seem to get to sleep. Instead of using alcohol or t.v. to help you sleep (both of which often cause you to have a poorer nights sleep), try these yoga poses, from an article in Women's Health , instead. You will reap both the emotional and physical benefits. And, you might actually have fun doing it.

During that "time of the month" it can sometimes feel like you are under an evil spell. The circumstances of your life look grayer, people are more irritating, and nothing seems interesting. Some months it is more severe than others. But, even though it happens every month, many of us are taken by surprise every month . We fall into the depressed mood and negative thoughts as if they are the reality of our lives. I had a client who came in this week looking down and agitated. The spark she normally has in her eyes seemed to have dulled. After sharing the long list of things she was upset about, it came out that she was about to start her period. She had not realized how much this had affected her mood and general outlook on life.  People often buy into their negative feelings as if they are facts. For this particular client, she felt like she woke up feeling ugly and fat, and so she was sure she looked uglier that day. She did not want to see people or have them...

It is day two of 2014 and some of you may have already broken your new year resolutions- if you had the time or energy to make resolutions at all. With the holidays behind you, you are starting to think about work, school, kids, bills, and feeling the anxieties of your real life start to creep back in. The anxiety can start to suck the energy and enjoyment out of your life. In the Christian scriptures, there is a verse with wisdom about how to handle worry and stress, "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." I have also heard it said this way, "Do not borrow trouble." Think about how much time and energy you invest in worrying. How many minutes, or hours of your day are spent worrying. And then ask yourself as the scriptures do,"Who of by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" But, how can you worry less, and enjoy your life more??? Today you can start with one simple t...

If things feel off-kilter in your life, you may be doing some of these twelve things listed in this Health.com article that sabotage your mental health. The great thing about the article is that it also give you practical ideas for what you can do to change those behaviors. http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20694928,00.html?xid=healthyliving05012013

It feels like we live increasingly busy and yet increasingly isolated lives. Our lives are filled with so many activities involving interactions with so many people, and yet rarely do we stop and make deep connections with any of them. How can you stop? The to-do list is too long. Who has time for the luxury of quality time with friends? For me, I sometimes feel guilty taking time away from my family, or my job to just hang out with friends. But there is a cost to this type of isolation from friends. There is an increasing body of evidence that suggests that people with close friends are much healthier than those without. People with friends tend to live longer, have better brain health, are more likely to recover from diseases like breast cancer, and are even less likely to get colds (perhaps due to lower stress levels). It is not quite clear why this is the case, but it is a consistent finding. Social support will help you live a healthier, happier life. So if you are lookin...

It felt like the theme of the day for my clients yesterday was stress. The teen with so much school work she was up until midnight, the twenty-something worried about what her boss thought of her work performance, the middle aged man stressed out about the self-destructive choices his adult son was making. These clients were in different stages of life, but they all experienced their stress in a similar way. They felt anxious, had interrupted sleep, preoccupied thoughts, and just generally had trouble enjoying all of the individual moments of their lives. Sound familiar to anyone?  It is so easy to get caught up in the stresses of daily life. From the moment I get up my mind starts thinking about everything I have to do for the day, and the week, and even what needs to happen by the end of the month. I need to take the car to the shop, pick up snacks for my daughter's girl scout meeting, work on a new blog post, do my taxes, and get dinner ready. I feel myself tensi...