Wilson Counseling: The Armchair Chronicles

digsdigs.com Have you ever caught yourself saying, "Where has the year gone?" I feel this way at the end of every year. I don't know what happened to 2014. A full year gone. What have I done in that time? What do I wish I had done? This can be a pretty reflective time of year--the passing of one year, and the beginning of the next. If you can find even one quiet moment to sit and reflect on your year, what comes to mind? For some of you, it will be the mistakes and regrets that haunt your thoughts. For those mistakes, you beat yourself up emotionally. For some of my clients, this might include a small chiding: "Why did I say something so dumb?" Or a more cruel voice: "I don't deserve to be loved." "My family would be better off without me." "I will never get better." "I am a loser." These words are soul crushing. If you really believe them, it becomes hard to change anything about your life. Imagine feel...

I was reading a beautifully crafted essay written by one of my friends and felt simultaneously thrilled by the brilliant analysis and beautiful prose, but I also felt a little pang of jealously at the ease with which he could produce such incredible work. Even if I  painstakingly edited 100 drafts of my writing, I would never come close to his talent. Later that day, a different friend posted some photos on social media of an event he was attending. He looked like he was having the time of his life. So I started thinking about my own day, which felt a little, well, lackluster. I sighed, turned off my computer and reminded myself of what I already knew--comparing is always a trap, and it will not help me lead the life I want. I see people falling into this comparison trap all the time in my practice. Social media bombards us with carefully selected detail of our friends' lives. What we often don't think about is the fact that those status updates and pictures don...

One of my Houston clients brought in this picture of a naked woman embracing a skeleton. She told me it had moved her deeply and spoke to her in a way that words could not. For this client, it was a visual depiction of a relationship she was holding onto with a man who could never really give her what she needed. When he would call her, she experienced a rush of happiness. But when he ignored her for days or weeks, she was forlorn and hopeless. She questioned herself and wondered why she was not more attractive to him. She was sure that if she were prettier, or smarter, or better in some way, he would be more interested. And she hated herself for not being able to just move on despite knowing the relationship was broken and lifeless.  Seeing all of this depicted in this image communicated directly to her heart what was really going on. She was holding onto a man who was emotionally dead, unable to give back or love, or share in any satisfying way. She felt disgusted at t...

This is a great article from National Public Radio about how you can deal with past trauma or current feelings that are troubling you by simply editing your life story through journaling. If you can commit 15 minutes a day for four days, you can do this. The article includes a link with instructions on how to conduct the exercise. This is similar to what I do in therapy sessions when I help my Houston clients who are stuck learn to reframe their views of themselves and their life situations. It is often exactly what my clients need to get un-stuck. Are you feeling stuck? Contact one of our Houston counselors to find out how to become unstuck and find your happier ending today!