Wilson Counseling: The Armchair Chronicles

I was reading a beautifully crafted essay written by one of my friends and felt simultaneously thrilled by the brilliant analysis and beautiful prose, but I also felt a little pang of jealously at the ease with which he could produce such incredible work. Even if I  painstakingly edited 100 drafts of my writing, I would never come close to his talent. Later that day, a different friend posted some photos on social media of an event he was attending. He looked like he was having the time of his life. So I started thinking about my own day, which felt a little, well, lackluster. I sighed, turned off my computer and reminded myself of what I already knew--comparing is always a trap, and it will not help me lead the life I want. I see people falling into this comparison trap all the time in my practice. Social media bombards us with carefully selected detail of our friends' lives. What we often don't think about is the fact that those status updates and pictures don...

image:gratisography.com In my mind Thanksgiving has long been a holiday that is about food. Sure, I know that is not what the Pilgrims had in mind when they sat down with the American Indians so many years ago, but somewhere along the way, the mashed potatoes and gravy seem to have won out to giving thanks. But lately, I have been thinking about the importance of expressing gratitude. I have been thinking about the need to take time off to cleanse our minds on a daily basis. There is a lot of research to support how transformative it is for people to intentionally express gratitude. Robert Emmons, professor of psychology at the University of California-Davis has noted that practicing gratitude in a systematic way can actually changes people by changing brains that are "wired for negativity, for noticing gaps and omissions." He explains, "When you express a feeling, you amplify it. When you express anger, you become angrier: When you express gratitude, you...