Wilson Counseling: The Armchair Chronicles

image:laweekly.com Sometimes I like to pass along things that I find inspiring. If you have spent time with me, you know I encourage people to learn to live authentically and to embrace and celebrate the person they were created to be. Researchers who study happiness consistently have found that people who live authentically are more likely to experience happiness and feel a general sense of wellbeing. When I talk about living authentically, I am talking about living in line with your values, ideals, sensibilities, creative instincts, etc. image:advancedstyle.blogspot.com I recently watched a documentary entitled Advanced Style . "Advanced style" It is a term used by photographer/blogger Ari Seth Cohen about the stylish older women whom he photographs. The pictures on this post are from the women in the documentary or from the blog of the same title. These are women in their late 50's to 90's.  In our society, we have so few images of beautiful ...

image: punditforhplanet.com Take this quiz to find out if you have a healthy relationship with food.

image: refinery29.com I was invited to speak with radio host  Dr.Carolyn Clansy Miller on Monday at 9am . Tune in to the show to hear more about how to embrace your body at any size and start feeling confident and strong.

In a culture obsessed with thinness, it was sort of surprising at first to see a sport that encouraged women to embrace whatever body type they had, but that is exactly what happens in the sport of roller derby . If you ever go to a roller derby game, you will notice there are thin girls, short girls, amazonian girls. It is a wonderful motley crew. Each of these body types carries some advantages in the sport. If you are short and small, you may be able to get low enough to get past your opponents, whereas being bigger may give you extra-strength to block or hit your opponents.   Roller derby turns all of the regular conventions of the "right" body type on its head. A prime example of this is a player named Beyonslay. She learned to use her larger size to her advantage. She is pretty amazing as the video link below attests. And because she is so amazing at using her larger body, it starts to subtly change the way everyone on the team looks at wei...

I came across this video from the makers of Special K about women using "fat talk." According to the video, 93% of women use derogatory terms, or "fat talk" to describe their bodies. For example, they might say something such as "I look like a fat cow in this outfit."  Words are powerful. When you use "fat talk," it impacts how you feel about yourself. One of women in the video equated it with bullying. Can you imagine what a lifetime of this talk has done to your self-esteem? This week, pay attention to the thoughts and words you use when thinking about your physical body. Write down any negative self-talk. Then next to the negative words, write down a rebuttal or a positive comment about your body. Sometimes it helps if you think about what you would say to a friend who was criticizing themselves. Battle your inner critic. Be vigilant about not allowing yourself to use bullying, degrading terms about your body.  By the way, my inclusio...

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/03/31/article-1372028-0B6D0A6600000578-246_634x411.jpg I came across the wonderful song by Baz Luhrman. He offers his advice on how to be free. The whole song makes me smile, but I especially appreciated this line about being free in your body. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own, dance Even if it you have nowhere to do it but your own living room If you have 5 minutes,  listen to this  and see if you don't feel inspired to be free!

http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/32300000/Hump-Back-Whale-humpback-whales-32310756-1280-1024.jpg I have a very creative, artistic seven year old daughter. She often sees her world through a totally unique lens. Several years ago, I walked into her bedroom and found that she had cut some holes in her blue bed sheets. Puzzled about why she would do this, I asked her why she cut her sheets. She replied, "The horses needed water." Although I am not really sure what she meant exactly, I could imagine in her creative mind that the blue bed sheets were a cool stream and she wanted her toy horses to have access to a drink. I love seeing the world through her minds eye, and I try to tell her how much I appreciate her creative side, just as I try to appreciate each of my children's unique qualities. But, somewhere along the way, she started to feel it was not good to be different. One day, seemingly out of the blue, she told me, "Mommy, I am an odd ball. I don...

www.kiyonna.com I have never liked going to the store and trying on a swim suit. Having a short, curvier body type, it felt particularly challenging, and those mirrors in the dressing room seem to magnify everything! I know this is a huge struggle for my clients as well. I remember one client who had fun beach vacation planned with her friends, but it was ruined for her after she saw a picture of herself in her swimsuit. She felt fat and could not stop comparing herself to her "skinny" friends. This led her down the path of restricting her food intake, and further down the path of her eating disorder. For many of you, it may feel inevitable that you will feel insecure, fat, or even ugly in a swimsuit, but before you start on that summer diet, please consider that there are many healthy ways to feel good and enjoy your summer. Check out this article about 5 things you can do to stop stressing about your bikini body. I especially like the body positive affirmation ....

I had a Houston client today talking about his parenting abilities. "When you break it down", he told me, "I am just trying to not f*** up my kids." I appreciate his honesty so much. I think good parents often worry about whether their choices will help or wound their children. My precious six-year-old walked into my room first thing this morning, looked straight at me and asked me if she was skinny. I faltered for a second- taken aback by her question.  As a therapist who works with people who struggle with body image and self-identity, I am very sensitive about this topic. I try not to label my children with terms like "skinny" or "chubby" or say anything that will give them a stigma about their bodies. My hope for my kids would be that they would appreciate and be thankful for the unique qualities in the bodies they have been given. Parents are not solely responsible for how kids feel about their bodies, but we do have a big ...

I recently finished reading Margot Starbuck's " Unsqueezed - Springing free from skinny jeans, nose jobs, highlights, and stilettos ." Starbuck addresses from a Christian perspective, a dilemma many of us face on a daily basis, What do I do when I don't feel good in my own skin? Those pesky thoughts pop into your head, "If only I could change my hair, get rid of those unfortunate wrinkles around my eyes, and deal with some of that cellulite on my thighs, maybe then I would finally feel good." As Starbuck points out, these insecurities are only intensified by a culture that seems to have "effectively marketed the myth that women's bodies exist for no higher purpose than to be viewed." With wit and humor, Starbuck addresses the issues that often lead us to feeling less than, and discusses practical ways to embrace who you are. There can be real freedom if we accept our bodies and use them for the purposes for which they were created. Afte...