Wilson Counseling: The Armchair Chronicles

image:dzineblog.com One of the common traits of anxious people is that they tend to catastrophize events in their lives. For example, I might be worried that something I said to a co-worker might be construed as unprofessional and that might lead to me having a bad reputation on the job which might lead to me not being promoted, or even fired. I don't necessarily have any evidence to back this up, but I just feel like it is true. That is catastrophizing. I was working with a client named Kim (not her real name) recently. She rated her anxiety at work at about a 10 out of 10 - in other words very high. Kim had a run in with a co-worker that had resulted in her being called into the human resources office. Ever since that time, she was highly anxious and afraid of any interaction with her co-worker. She avoided this individual, and any possible conflict, at all costs. She felt deep shame about being reprimanded. This was a woman who had twenty years of exemplary service wit...

The premier of America The Beautiful is coming up on Wednesday, October 22nd at 7pm. The event is free and open to the public, but you do need to register here . Below is the media release of the film if you would like to know more about it. "Award-winning filmmaker Darryl Roberts takes an unflinching look at the insidious effects of our culture's preoccupation with sex in "America the Beautiful 3: The Sexualization of Our Youth" premiering this fall across the United States.   "America the Beautiful 3: The Sexualization of Our Youth," is an important yet disconcerting film that both informs and warns viewers that our fixation with sex is adversely affecting our culture, leading to a public health crisis and even worse, the escalation of violence against women and children.     * WARNING: This film includes scenes with graphic violence and pornographic imagery, which have the potential to trigger some viewers. Individuals with a histor...

Most of the people I work with in my practice have come in at some point with high levels of stress. They are experiencing the kind of stress that makes it hard to sleep at night, that causes them to have trouble focusing, or to feel agitated and short tempered with people they love. It is the kind of stress that makes them question what is wrong with their lives, but then feel too exhausted to do anything about it. Many of them are drained by demanding jobs that they spend a lot of their waking hours thinking about. Often, they even take work home. These are smart, hardworking, successful people. But, they have had the joy sucked out of their lives by the time they come to see me.  I talk with them about creating more balance in their lives. This means working less, and getting back to things in their personal lives that they value and that energize them. In general I recommend that they leave work by a designated time every night, and do not take work home. It soun...

image: punditforhplanet.com Take this quiz to find out if you have a healthy relationship with food.

Life can be a very sticky affair. It's easy to get stuck in a rut and feel ambivalent about changing. Take, for example, something as simple as exercising. How many times have you told yourself that you are going to start working out, and then proceeded to do a hundred other activities, but not a single one of them involved exercise? I have felt like I have been in rut with writing this blog lately. It's strange because I actually love writing the blog, but things got so busy in the summer. And then a few weeks went by and I had not written anything. I got out of the habit, and it started to feel like it was going to be difficult to challenge myself to block off time to write. I also told myself I would get back to it as soon as I had more free time. Sound familiar? If you sit around waiting for the right time to change, or more free time to make changes, you might never do it. So I got myself motivated with a technique that works for a lot of my clients who are having ...

I was reading a beautifully crafted essay written by one of my friends and felt simultaneously thrilled by the brilliant analysis and beautiful prose, but I also felt a little pang of jealously at the ease with which he could produce such incredible work. Even if I  painstakingly edited 100 drafts of my writing, I would never come close to his talent. Later that day, a different friend posted some photos on social media of an event he was attending. He looked like he was having the time of his life. So I started thinking about my own day, which felt a little, well, lackluster. I sighed, turned off my computer and reminded myself of what I already knew--comparing is always a trap, and it will not help me lead the life I want. I see people falling into this comparison trap all the time in my practice. Social media bombards us with carefully selected detail of our friends' lives. What we often don't think about is the fact that those status updates and pictures don...

I often get asked by people who know me personally how they can find the best therapist for them. The strength of the therapeutic relationship will have a major impact on the success of your therapy. If you and the therapist don't have very good rapport, it can feel kind of like going on a bad date. It just won't click. But that does not mean you give up on therapy, or dating for that matter, it probably just means they were not the right person for you. So, how can you choose the right therapist? Psychology Today has a helpful article that will give you some tips. I would recommend that you do some research before scheduling an appointment with someone. Ask for referrals. Check the therapist's website. And I would also recommend that you call the therapist and ask some basic question including: How many years have you been practicing? What kind of experience do you have working with (whatever problem you are experiencing)? What are your areas of expertise? Wh...