Wilson Counseling: The Armchair Chronicles

If you are feeling stressed, check out my video with an easy breathing technique. It has been enormously helpful to almost all of my clients. You can use it proactively to keep anxiety down or as needed when something stressful comes up. Take control of your life 5 minutes at a time!

You are worn out You work hard. You put your partner, your kid, and your work before yourself because that is what you think a grownup is supposed to do. And you're tired. Your emotional and physical health are compromised. I talk to clients and friends all the time who feel worn thin, but they believe they don't have any choice but to keep doing what they're doing because if they don't, their world might fall apart. Their kids won't get to the doctor or the after-school activity. The laundry won't get done, the house won't get cleaned, the dinners won't get cooked. Life is not fun. And whether we recognize it or not, sometimes we're not effective because we're running on fumes. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself In her book Braving The Wilderness , Brene Brown talks about the idea of giving ourselves permission slips. When my daughter goes on a field trip for school, I have to sign a permission slip saying it is okay...

Most people starting couples therapy come in focused on their partners’ flaws. Few people come into my office and say, “We’re here because I complain too often, I yell all the time and don’t help out around the house.” It’s understandable that when you’ve been repeatedly hurt by your partner, you would be defensive and see the need for change in them. Nevertheless, the only changes you can make happen are changes in the way you show up in the relationship during the good times and the bad. You take control of your relationships by learning to change yourself first. 4 Relationship Patterns to Look Out For Renowned couples therapists, Drs. John and Julie Gottman have identified four communication patterns that are detrimental to relationships and often result in divorce. These are called the Four Horsemen:  1. Criticism –  a verbal attack often disguised as a critique or complaint  2. Contempt –  behaviors aimed at making your partner feel worthless...

I hit the snooze button and then I hit it again until I absolutely have to get out of bed. I have trouble cleaning my home even though it bothers me to see it dirty. I avoid making that phone call to schedule a doctor's appointment. I keep speaking sarcastically to my partner when I wish I was being kind instead.  How can you change your bad habits and learn to feel more in control? Mel Robbins describes one simple tip for moving from idea to action. She recommends you count down 5-4-3-2-1, and then spring into action. If you wait any longer to act, your brain will sabotage any changes in your behavior you are trying to make. As humans we are wired to want comfort, pleasure and familiarity, so we resist change. Pausing like you do when you hit the snooze button effectively stops you from making changes. You can use this technique called the 5 second rule to outsmart your brain. Using the rule, you interrupt habit loops that get encoded in the brain. Counting down, w...

Last week we celebrated the life of Martin Luther King, Jr. He is inspiring for many reasons. One of the things I personally find the most inspiring is that he devoted his life to something--civil rights--even though it was incredibly hard and even dangerous. In the end, he paid the ultimate price, his life, but his legacy has has brought our society one step closer to the promises of our democracy.  You may not be trying to change the entire course of our country, but you do have hard things in your life that you want to accomplish. Nothing worthwhile was ever done without hard work, persistence, thought, and time. And everything important thing worth doing will be met with resistance. Fight through that resistance, fight the people who criticize, persist in the things that matter. You will always feel stronger when you do hard things.  Here are some quotes from MLK to encourage you in your journey as you try to make changes and take charge of your life. I hope you ...

I came across this video the other day talking about how stress affects your brain. If you have ever wondered how stress affects your brain I would recommend you check it out. One of the most proven ways to deal with stress is through meditation. If you have been interested in meditating but need some help getting started or staying on schedule I recommend you use a meditation app like  headspace.  They are having a 40% off discount that you can take advantage of or use the free version. If you are struggling and would like help, we have Houston, Texas Counselors who can meet with you. You can  contact  us 713 -591- 3612 or by email at Nancy @ wilsoncounseling. org.  This blog is not intended to substitute for professional counseling.  

"Meaningless, meaningless. Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless under the sun. What do people gain from all of their labors at which they toil under the sun? I have seen all the things that are done under the sun, all are meaningless, a chasing after the wind. " Ecclesiasties 1 Does anything really matter Since Hurricane Harvey, I have been thinking a lot about these words from King Solomon in the Christian scriptures. It's a bit nihilistic, but nihilism comes easily in the wake of such quick destruction. A house that may have taken years to build was flooded in a matter of hours. All of the time spent choosing paint colors and fixtures and displaying art, all became irrelevant in a matter of hours. Possessions you spent a lifetime collecting and curating are flooded, soiled, swelled up, gone. When you go through something like that, a natural reaction is to ask, what's the point? Does any of it matter? What is really important to me? Home being to...