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Showing posts from December, 2019

New Years Resolution: Change Things That No Longer Serve You

I need to connect with people and disconnect from my screens. I want to keep this post simple. Life is complicated enough without a complicated post about how you can change your life. I can let work and life distract me from really being present and fully enjoying the people and experiences in my life. I know I am not alone. I find times with friends often interrupted or diminished by regular phone checking. For myself, I'm working on being more mindful and less distracted, which usually means having clear boundaries with the things that distract me, like my phone and computer. I find myself regularly trying to multitask. This desire to multitask comes from the nagging feeling that I can never get everything done. The reality, however, is that multitasking actually makes me less efficient, less present, more anxious, and less capable of enjoying my life and loved ones. This New Years, I am going to focus on changing something that no longer serves me well--being...

Empathy is my superpower, but sometimes it feels like my kryptonite

People can begin to experience healing often after just a single encounter of empathy I would be a rotten therapist if I didn't have empathy. Empathy allows me to understand and feel the world of my clients. It gives me the ability to help clients feel seen, cared for, and feel normal. People can begin to experience healing often with just a single encounter of empathy. If empathy is such a great thing, why does it sometimes feel so bad to be an empathetic person? When people suffer, empathy allows us to go into their world and hold some of their suffering. But there is a cost to that. If you really share in someone's pain, that means you may also feel that pain. You lighten their burden, but sometimes in the process, you take part of their burden on yourself. As a therapist, I have generally been able to be empathetic and present for my clients without taking all of the pain home with me. I have had less success doing that in my personal relationships. ...