We will never experience intimacy in relationships if we blame others for our problems
"I don't share anything personal with my mom", my client told me. "My mom is one of those people who always blames other people for her problems.
When I was growing up she told me the reason we did not have enough money is because my dad had abandoned her by divorcing her. According to her, my dad was also the reason she did not have any friends, that she gained so much weight, that she had to live in a broken down house, that she was alone in life.
At first I thought my dad was a bad person, but I figured out after listening to my mom blame others for every problem in her life that she had a messed up perspective. I knew if I shared with her things I was struggling with, I knew that she would go negative, blame me or someone else, and the whole conversation would just depress me."
Blame is the discharging of discomfort and pain
Why do we blame others for our problems? According to Brene Brown, blame is the discharging of discomfort and pain. Instead of being vulnerable about our anger, frustration or other types of pain, it is easier to blame others. In this insightful and entertaining short from the Royal Society for the Encouragement of Arts, Manufactures, and Commerce, Brown talks about why we blame and why we should consider giving up this damaging behavior. Enjoy!
If you are having trouble letting go of anger, frustration, or other emotional pain, talking to a Houston Therapist can help. For questions or more information, please contact Nancy Wilson at 713 - 591- 3612 or via email at nancy @ wilsoncounseling. org.
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