Skip to main content

Beauty From Ashes. New Year, New Hope.

"Meaningless, meaningless. Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless under the sun. What do people gain from all of their labors at which they toil under the sun? I have seen all the things that are done under the sun, all are meaningless, a chasing after the wind. " Ecclesiasties 1

Does anything really matter


Since Hurricane Harvey, I have been thinking a lot about these words from King Solomon in the Christian scriptures. It's a bit nihilistic, but nihilism comes easily in the wake of such quick destruction. A house that may have taken years to build was flooded in a matter of hours. All of the time spent choosing paint colors and fixtures and displaying art, all became irrelevant in a matter of hours. Possessions you spent a lifetime collecting and curating are flooded, soiled, swelled up, gone. When you go through something like that, a natural reaction is to ask, what's the point? Does any of it matter? What is really important to me?

Home being torn down after flooding during Harvey

Getting from sorrow to hope

It is easy to lose hope. So, what keeps you going? What gives you the motivation to rebuild, to keep living, to keep fighting? How can you get to a place of joy from a place of sorrow? Why bother when it will all turn to ashes? It will all end up in a landfill.


The debris of a home torn down after the flood


Joy is deeper and sweeter because you have seen suffering and loss


Many of you who have gone through painful experiences in life have learned that there can be joy even at the end of a very difficult season of life. And you may have found that your joy is deeper and sweeter because you have seen what it means to suffer and to experience loss.

Tomorrow brings wholeness and healing


Crystal Lewis has a song entitled "Beauty for Ashes." I love the redemptive message in the lyrics.
"He gives beauty for ashes. Strength for fear. Gladness for mourning. Peace for despair. When sorrow seems to surround you. When suffering hangs heavy on your head. Know that tomorrow brings wholeness and healing." Sometimes there has to be destruction before there can be rebuilding both literally and metaphorically.



This time of year, people start thinking about the new year and new year's resolutions. But for some of you, life is more about surviving. The idea of adding a resolution feels overwhelming. It is okay to feel down. It is a normal reaction to hard things. Be compassionate with yourself. You have had a hard year. You have survived a hard year in the best way you are able. That is enough.


Be compassionate and you will find good enough is good enough





When you don't have hope, remind yourself that even when you don't feel it, life will get better. We know from our history that after the rain, there is sun. After the sun sets, it also rises. It is just the cyclical nature of life. Believe in that cycle even when you don't feel it to be true. Lean into the hope.

People who love you will be light in your darkness


And when you don't have hope for yourself, surround yourself with people in your life who lift you up. Surround yourself with people who speak encouragement into your life. Surround yourself with people who support you and get you and love you. They will be the light you need in your darkness.


Choose hope. Choose to keep trying again tomorrow. 


Lean in to 2018 with hope that in this new year, there is new life. There is always hope. Be compassionate when you struggle with the hard times. All of the individual moments of life are not going to be good, but we can find meaning by choosing to love and care for those who need us. We can find meaning by fighting to do the things we are created to do. We can choose hope, we can choose life as long as there is breath in our bodies.

May 2018 bring you beauty from ashes, strength from fear, gladness for mourning and peace for despair. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

If you are struggling to find hope in your life, Wilson Counseling has Houston-area counselors who can help you. Please contact Wilson Counseling by phone at 713 - 591 - 3612 or via email at Nancy @ wilsoncounsleing. org. 

Comments

  1. Beautifully written! I'm so sorry you guys lost your home and all the work and things you can't get back. Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Kristen. I truly feel hopeful about the future. We are lucky to be surrounded with the best people who have regularly been a safety net for us. Happy New Year!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Letting go of broken relationships

One of my Houston clients brought in this picture of a naked woman embracing a skeleton. She told me it had moved her deeply and spoke to her in a way that words could not. For this client, it was a visual depiction of a relationship she was holding onto with a man who could never really give her what she needed. When he would call her, she experienced a rush of happiness. But when he ignored her for days or weeks, she was forlorn and hopeless. She questioned herself and wondered why she was not more attractive to him. She was sure that if she were prettier, or smarter, or better in some way, he would be more interested. And she hated herself for not being able to just move on despite knowing the relationship was broken and lifeless.  Seeing all of this depicted in this image communicated directly to her heart what was really going on. She was holding onto a man who was emotionally dead, unable to give back or love, or share in any satisfying way. She felt disgusted at the t

How To Support Someone Going Through Infertility

Guest Blog Post by Sarah Bradshaw ------------------------- For many women, trying to get pregnant is difficult, stressful, and painful Have you heard this story: woman meets someone, they fall in love, commit to one another, and then along comes a baby (or two or three)? Simple, right? For many women, having a baby is anything but simple. It can, in fact, be a difficult, stressful and potentially painful --both emotionally and physically--experience . Sometimes, the above stor y goes like this: woman meets someone, they fall in love , commit to one another, and then--nothing, absolutely nothing. The woman goes to see her do ctor to see if something is wrong . Sometimes , there's nothing wrong . The doctor says it’s just going to take more time (insert frown or angry face here) . S ometimes they get referred to a specialist. The referral is the start of a very bumpy and emotional ride. I know be cau se I have been there, and I know many other women who ha

Life With A Narcissist

During the recent presidential election cycle, people threw around the term narcissist or narcissistic personality disorder a lot when talking about Donald Trump. Many articles were written and tweets tweeted about the subject. As a therapist, I know that I can not diagnose someone I have never examined, but the discussions did call to mind my clients who have partners that exhibit traits of narcissism or even full-blown narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)? NPD is a mental health diagnosis that is characterized by an unhealthy sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Many people have traits of narcissism, but very few, about 6.2% of the population, would meet diagnostic criteria for NPD. You can learn more about it from this nifty animated video: How does narcissism affect you in a relationship? I can recall one client, Cindy,  who came to me feeling dep