How To Support Someone Going Through Infertility

Guest Blog Post by Sarah Bradshaw
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For many women, trying to get pregnant is difficult, stressful, and painful

Have you heard this story: woman meets someone, they fall in love, commit to one another, and then along comes a baby (or two or three)? Simple, right? For many women, having a baby is anything but simple. It can, in fact, be a difficult, stressful and potentially painful --both emotionally and physically--experience.

Sometimes, the above story goes like this: woman meets someone, they fall in love, commit to one another, and then--nothing, absolutely nothing. The woman goes to see her doctor to see if something is wrong. Sometimes, there's nothing wrong. The doctor says it’s just going to take more time (insert frown or angry face here). Sometimes they get referred to a specialist. The referral is the start of a very bumpy and emotional ride. I know because I have been there, and I know many other women who have been down the same journey. Everyone’s experience is different, and you don't always end up with the baby that you have long yearned for.

I have a friend who is currently going through a very stressful fertility journey (fingers crossed for a happy ending). She tried and tried on her own, went to multiple doctors, went to a specialist, had her eggs retrieved, frozen, thawed (and then died), retrieved again and tested. I am not even sure how many cycles she did and how many eggs she ended up with.

The best response? A hug

I can, however, still see her face when she told me while sitting on my driveway with her two adorable dogs, that all her eggs died when they were thawed (this was during the first round). She just started crying. The tears were slow at first but then came like a rushing river. And just as soon as she started crying, she stopped. She was quiet for a moment (felt like an eternity), but she finally looked back up at me.

“Why?” she pleaded.

I didn’t know what to say. I gave her the best answer I could think of. I gave her a hug.

Just listen even when you feel helpless--it's an act of love

My friend is still trying. Even with all the shots, doctors’ appointments, bloodwork, missing work, bruising on her arms, legs, stomach, and buttocks from the shots, tests, prescriptions, more shots, and more tests, she is still trying. She told me that it helps her to talk to someone who knows what she has gone through even though our journeys are not identical. Why did it help? Because she was talking to a person who is nonjudgmental, who cares, who is empathetic, who understands, and who knows when to just...listen.

I do the same thing in counseling that I did with my friend: I listen. Talking about infertility, whether you are just starting or have been trying for years, is difficult. I want you to know you aren’t alone.

My hope is this is her year. And I hope for all the people who are trying to conceive, I hope this is your year, too.

If you are struggling with infertility and would like to speak to a Houston, Texas Counselor about your pain, please contact us at 713-591-3612 or via email at nancy@wilsoncounseling.org. You don't have to go through this alone.

More about the author:

Sarah is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified School Counselor. Sometimes our path in life
is not always simple and straight forward.  We may face challenges we never saw coming or don’t
have the proper skills to tackle.  Sarah’s goal is to assist you through your journey and help provide
you with the skills you need.

Sarah has 10 years of experience in education and has been an LPC since 2013.  She uses a client
centered approach to therapy as well as cognitive-behavioral therapy.

You can find out more about her and the rest of our Wilson Counseling Houston Therapists on our website.